Something Strange
- T MVS
- Mar 10, 2022
- 2 min read
Updated: Apr 7
Something has happened in the last few weeks. It all built up from the first lockdown, an almost unbelievable 2 years ago, when I was cast out of the office and confined to work from my home. Like many others, I had gained precious more hours in the day from removing the daily commute, to be able to ... well, sleep more. Once the novelty of lie ins wore off though, it seemed time was available for more productive uses. I could exercise without excuse, thus I lost weight, indulged in more leisurely activity, and I also had time to make some progress with my creative side. Over time I was keeping fit, completing video games from a vast library collection, I learnt to juggle (party tricks!) and got back into art. I loved drawing as a kid, treasuring my array of Crayolas. I recall obsessing with repeatedly drawing someone sat at a table, in front of a mug and plate, with a cake in the middle, a pet by their feet, framed within a set of pulled back curtains and against a backdrop of window panes. I've no idea why! Eventually, I scarcely drew, preferring to guzzle up watching films, or writing (trying to), but as navigation through life meant occasionally facing challenges to my mental health, with those bouts came a need for creativity. I even dabbled in painting and pottery. However, the road to recovery would leave both a lack of discipline and time restraint, so this soon petered out.
The past 2 years have allowed for pause, to explore and use that extra time gained to see how far I can go creatively and what I thought was never possible continues to surprise me. It turns out painting has overtaken sketching as a preferred method of creating art. Much like any medium though, what you choose to create might be better formatted in one method over another.
Perhaps those surprises have culminated in a realisation of both the potential and the discipline I never believed I had, but as I mentioned, this past month something has happened. Something strange. I'm bursting with creativity. I am also bursting with mood swings. I'm up, I'm down, I'm sure, I'm uncertain and all the while, I am sketching, painting, writing and even relearning the piano! It should be a perfect remedy for feeling blue, but that doesn't seem to be the resolution. While I'm grateful and fulfilled with the chance to enhance and nurture my creativity, there is somewhat of a regret that I didn't find it sooner and an anxiety that a return to the rat race could end it all.
This cacophony of emotions leads me to conclude that I have reached peak artistry: the tortured soul!

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